When you meet people for the first time, what do you tell them about you? Do you have a set patter about who you are, what you do, what your title or business is, what the main challenges of your life are, and who else is in your life? Do you enjoy these conversations? Are they spontaneous and fun? Or are they boring and predictable? Do you find people really listen to them? Or do most people simply wait for a pause in your story to launch their own? How well do you listen to theirs? And how much of telling and retelling your story cements it into place? With each retelling, does it become easier for you to create the changes you'd like, or harder? If you'd like something different, ask “What if my life had no story?” What if you woke up every morning like Drew Barrymore in the movie 50 First Dates, with a totally fresh start? Like to play? Then for the next month, whenever you meet someone new, first asking them questions until they ask about you. Only then tell them something you have never said before, even if it's not yet true. Are you willing to create your life story the way you'd really like it?
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When you ask questions to create the changes you'd like, how often do you focus them on changing a situation with someone, or something else? For example, you don't enjoy working in your family business, but you do it to keep the incoming money in the family. So you start asking questions like “What will it take for the business to attract a plentiful supply of customers?” or “What will it take for the other family members to do their jobs even better?” assuming that if you can generate more customers and greater efficiency for the business, it can and will hire someone else to do your job. You may create that outcome. Or you may create something completely different, including one which requires you to be even more involved. So if you'd like to make sure the changes you're asking for are aimed directly at the outcome you'd like for you, ask “Where am I in this?” In this case, you could ask “What will it take for the business to thrive and no longer require my labour, or something greater than I can imagine?
Do you consider change to be hard? You know you're not entirely (or at all) satisfied with your work, business, relationships, health, body or life in general, and you have an idea about what you'd prefer, and yet you can't seem to make it happen? Do you hear yourself saying “I'd like to do this, but I can't because...”? How many reasons and justifications do you have as to why your current situation, although not ideal, is easier to have than making waves and changing anything? What if change wasn't the hard part? If you'd like to find out what might open a door to greater possibilities, ask “Am I willing to acknowledge what I've chosen?” What if the hard part was acknowledging that everything you have created as your life until now had been your choice? There is no need to make it significant. Simply notice it and acknowledge that you are a magnificent creator. Now what do you choose to create? The same, or different?
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